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Professor Wrestling: 'Slammiversary' Results

Five Vie For TNA's Top Title

POSTED: 8:13 pm EDT June 18, 2009
UPDATED: 11:03 pm EDT June 21, 2009

Listen up!

Class is in session.

Summer hours continue. This week, we focus on TNA's "Slammiversary" pay-per-view. But first, a reminder that we do a dandy podcast with this column. It's called "Old School, New School," with yours truly and squared-circle experts Dr. Mike Lano and George "The Authority" Schire. This week, we take a look at the "Slammiversary" lineup, go "thumbs up/thumbs down" on Donald Trump's new angle in WWE and we'll examine the career of the late John "The Golden Greek" Tolos. To that end, Mr. Lano -- who ran the Tolos fan club -- wrote a stirring piece honoring his good friend. Please take a look at that right here.

As for the podcast, you can download that right here.

OK. With the table-setting, ultra-important introductory paragraph completed, let's now focus on TNA's big show:

TNA 'King Of The Mountain' Championship Match: Mick Foley (c) vs. Kurt Angle vs. Jeff Jarrett vs. A.J. Styles vs. Samoa Joe
What Should Happen: First, I have to explain the rules of the match. TNA should slip me $5 for this. If you pin someone -- then you earn the right to climb a ladder and hang the title belt above the ring. Those who are pinned must serve two minutes in a penalty box, and more than one performer can be in the pen. Make sense? Good. Here's why I would have Styles win: because the other four would hate it, and he would have feuds against the babyfaces and the heels. That's good enough for me. Foley as champ isn't going to be forever, so let's just end the charade here and give the belt to one of the best wrestlers on the planet.

What Will Happen: I'm sticking with A.J. Styles as your victor.

Question To Ponder: What weighs more: Samoa Joe or owner Jeff Jarrett's ego?

What Did Happen: Samoa Joe turned heel and allowed Angle to hang the belt. Angle is your new TNA champ.

X-Division 'King Of The Mountain' Championship Match: Suicide (c) vs. Jay Lethal vs. Consequences Creed vs. Chris Sabin vs. Alex Shelley
What Should Happen: The rules are the same as the match above. In this one, I'd book Suicide to win because the "try to unmask this guy" angle is still a winner in my book. Creed, Lethal, Sabin and Shelley have been trying to reveal the champ's true identity for weeks, but have failed. I want that to continue, with Suicide (Kaz) as the title holder.

What Will Happen: The show is in Detroit, home of Sabin and Shelley. I'm picking Sabin to win.

Question To Ponder: Will TNA ever make the X-title it's signature belt?

What Did Happen: Suicide prevailed, keeping his belt.

TNA Women's Championship Match: Angelina Love (c) vs. Tara
What Should Happen: Here, Tara (formerly Victoria of WWE), gets her first TNA ppv match. The right thing to do is to keep Love as champ, escaping with a narrow victory. But I'm not sure TNA will have the willpower to do that on its signature show.

What Will Happen: Tara gets the pin, and the women's belt.

Question To Ponder: Are you ready for Tara versus the awesome Awesome Kong?

What Did Happen: Love survived, keeping her belt.

TNA Tag Team Championship Match: Team 3D (c) (Devon and Ray) vs. Beer Money (Robert Roode and James Storm)
What Should Happen: This is billed as a babyface vs. babyface "respect" match. Don't believe it for a minute. Team 3D will turn evil for no apparent reason, and the team you thought would turn bad -- won't, and they'll win. Can I write this stuff or not?

What Will Happen: Beer Money. Good guy champions.

Question To Ponder: Is Vince McMahon watching TNA to see how tag team wrestling should be performed in 2009?

What Did Happen: Beer Money got the job done, beating Team 3D.

Challenge Match: Daniels vs. Shane Douglas
What Should Happen: Christopher Daniels must have ticked someone off to be in this dog. What does Douglas have left, anyway? That being said, sometimes something that looks odd on paper is a thriller on TV. Daniels will have to carry the match, but that's OK. Daniels should win this handily.

What Will Happen: Daniels takes it with a clean pin.

Question To Ponder: How about a TNA 3-way championship match between Styles, Daniels and Angle? That's entertainment.

What Did Happen: Daniels got the win.

That's it. For the night, I had two right and three wrong. Not perfect, but still good enough to call myself -- Professor Wrestling!

Class is -- dismissed!!

(Professor Wrestling is a masked employee of Internet Broadcasting, hailing from Parts Unknown. Got a question, comment, complaint? E-mail him right here. )


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