WNEM TV 5 Leftover Reactions to the Computer-Shooting Facebook Dad

Leftover Reactions to the Computer-Shooting Facebook Dad:

1. No, this is not a Super Dad. No, this is not an example of good parenting. No, this is not teaching the child an important lesson. This is an incredibly unskilled parent announcing to the world he hasn't invested the time to learn about teenagers, parenting, or being an adult in times of crisis.

2. This girl's major crime is that she vented her anger on Facebook.  Not a good move on her part. What happens in the family needs to stay in the family. If the family has problems, deal with it there. She chose to violate that trust. Does there need to be a consequence?  Yes, one that is reasonable, related, and delivered in a respectful manner. Putting a round of bullets into her computer and sharing it with the world does not fit that criteria.

3. Teaching the child not to put family business on FB by putting more family business on FB is like teaching a three-year-old not to bite other children by biting her harder to demonstrate how it feels. Not reasonable. Not effective parenting.

4. It was clear from the tone of her posting that the teen was obviously frustrated. She does need a place to talk about it, a place to vent. Whether her frustration is justified is not the point. She feels frustrated and venting to peers is what teens do if they do not feel safe sharing their feelings at home. This is how they vent if they are over-controlled and feel powerless. We don't know this girl or her family situation. What we do know is that for whatever reason, she was not comfortable bringing that frustration to her family. So she chose FB.

5. The dad skipped over the feeling tone of the communication and went right to the teen's words telling all who would listen that his daughter was wrong. What this teen really needed was to be heard. He did not honor her feelings. He made them wrong. He doesn't yet realize that in the world of relationships being right doesn't work. He took her words personally and chose to play the right/wrong game. No one wins that game.

6. Here is a father who when he thinks he is right, goes overboard. He said she had previously been grounded for 3 months. Really? For what? You cannot learn how to be appropriate on the computer if you don't have the computer. Three months is not reasonable if teaching is your goal. Our guess is this father would rather punish that teach.

7. Two children do not make an adult. One of the parties involved needs to step up and be an adult. We think that is the father's job.

8. This father thinks he is teaching his child a lesson. He is. The lesson is that violence is the way to solve problems. Get a gun that will make you powerful. If my gun is bigger than your gun I will have more power than you. If you have a problem get out a gun is not a message to be shared at any time.

9. Blasting several bullets into a teen's computer is a sign of parent out of control, out of options, and out of skills. In school we would call that a bully. When done in the home it is often called a parent. We think bully is the more accurate term in this case.

10. This video will probably be recycled many times as it can evoke strong feelings in people for or against this style of parenting.  Like spanking or not spanking, most people have their minds made up. Words and concepts do not seem to alter opinions. We are under no illusion that our words here will change anyone's mind. And we wanted to vent. Thanks for listening. And be advised that if we see that father held up as Super Dad one more time we will not take out a gun and blow away the computer.

Thomas Haller and Chick Moorman